Shit Happens!

Despite being an elder daughter of the family she was a brat, a darling princess of her papa and an apple of her mother’s eye. Her introduction will be incomplete without the mention of her equally crazy younger sister. She is the love of her life, her best friend, fan, guide, doll, loyal shoulder, chocolates and clothes thief, complaint box and yet the best secret keeper, in short her devilish angel! This story is about one of her very many humorous and panicky incidents.

She never appreciated the invasion of anyone in her room especially in her absence be it her mom and absolutely not her younger sister, not even a maid for cleaning. This often resulted in empty pizza boxes lying under her bed for days confirming the delicious treat for her dogs, her shoe collection displayed on the floor making her dog’s life hell. Table full of books, hair clips, pens, and charger, half of her dressing table products, accessories all struggling to fit in that limited space.

Must say it requires quite a talent to wake up late in morning and hunt for required stuff from such a mess and still manage to leave house on time uuufff! Poor hard working soul (alright I went a bit too far by calling her hardworking). But it’s not everyone’s cup of tea to manage busy life so skillfully because even you would be pissed off when a whole lot of crumpled clothes fall on you each time you open your cupboard, HOLD ON, are you wondering if this required some kind of expertise? Well then read this, the real task comes after this process. No I am not talking about dumping the clothes back in, it’s a cake walk! The real art is to hunt for a valid candidate in the house and convince them to iron your clothes. Now this would be an insane struggle every morning.

Daily her mom would wake her up with a glass of lukewarm water followed by adrak wali chai, then she again would take a nap of 20-30 minutes after placing the empty cup on the window which often hid behind the curtains resulting in its minimum 5 days 4 nights luxurious stay in that particular place followed by a big lecture from her mother, irritating comments from her supper irritating sister making maximum use of every second by exaggerating and yes at times even the maid dared to join the round table conference (like seriously…)

Well she is a brave girl otherwise but unfortunately had a glimpse of some horror movie scene that day (thanks to her stupid sister). Poor soul didn’t even pay her regular visit to the loo before going to bed. That night spookily Ac was blowing almost wild Antigua and Barbuda winds resulting in the seductive dance of the curtains which to her, looked like an evil ghost coming half the way to her saying hey darling sweet dreams and with a sway going back again and again. Then there is a huge mirror in front of her bed which displayed the figures of dead bodies from around 1000 BC in all possible creepy positions. She somehow managed to gather the courage to grab her phone and put a flash on the mirror to confirm that it’s just her imagination and to her horror that satin like younger sister sleeping next to her waved a hand while elder sister was observing the mirror with full concentration and scared the shit out of her (that moronic being). Later she somehow managed to sleep. It was quiet and comfy (ZzzzZzz).

There was a loud noise and the elder sister screamed her heart out (you could almost see her uvula inside) and sat up straight on bed pleading her younger sister to check what’s wrong only to figure out a broken cup. The same cup which she had kept there last morning and which must have fallen because of the seductively dancing curtain. Her younger sister tried hard to console her because she had turned as white as snow freshly imported from Antarctica. Magically within minutes she was asleep again.

The same noise for the second time, this time she screamed even louder, her jaws just somehow managed not to leave each other’s company and tear up and fall apart doing a huge favor on her otherwise average looking face. Her younger sister of course woke up again (very calmly as if doing some routine work) just to find out there is a rat in a room and he had pushed the second cup which her ideal elder sister must have kept last to last morning. Opsss the elder one muttered, damn I didn’t even know there were two cups on the window and was already sleeping before she could complete the statement only leaving her younger sister a little annoyed and surprised as to how soon can someone fall asleep after such a drama.

Further as night progressed they both continued sleeping peacefully in their room, sorry her “elder sister’s room” with perfect temperature just allowing her younger sister to cover her legs and the elder one to wrap herself like an Egyptian mummy. CRAASSHHH! The noise came and the elder sister screamed again with the same intensity, dreadfully and something even more than shit scared like shitting bricks (ok agreed this explanation was really sad…anyway…) she cried loudly who is it, who is there, help help help! And her younger sister silently sat next to her with her usual cool, staring at her elder sister in amazement that how can someone scream their lungs out for the same reason for three times and then fall asleep in seconds so comfortably as if nothing happened.

After almost 100 pleads by her elder sister, that younger devil got up to check what happened this time just to find out a broken coffee mug in which her beloved elder sibling had Coke around a week before. OOoohhhhh…Umm hehehe… that was not me kind of a smile, the elder one could only manage this reaction, after looking at her little sister’s as cold as grave expressions. Finally, after hundred warnings and thousand instructions from her younger sister they slept peacefully. It indeed was a scary and adventurous night.

She woke up the next morning to a big lecture from her mother and a GOTCHA look from her younger sister standing behind mom. Bloody radio broadcast (younger sister) was looking even scarier than the ghost in the mirror, just needed a pair of devil horns to complete the look the elder sister thought to herself. And to top it all even the maid teamed up… didi kitna nuksan ho gaya and blah blah blah!
Poor soul somehow managed to sneak out of the room and wondered why the hell everyone was getting mad at her. It was the rat’s fault after all, where does she come in picture from. In spite of consoling because she couldn’t sleep last night and almost had three heart attacks all they are doing is lecturing her. Humanity no more exists God she sighed.

Let bygones be bygones, life moves on and so did she. Like always she continued with her daily chores, searching for her cosmetics on that table, treasure hunting her clothes from the massive wardrobe and look for a possible bakra to iron them for her. But not even in her wildest dreams did she leave any cup on that window. No matter how tired or late she was she would first take a great walk of shame from her room to the kitchen with a cup in her hand only to witness the kinky and most irritating smile in the universe on her younger sister’s face and you must even wash it and keep kind of look on her mom’s face which she off course highly ignored.

Hope she slept fear free ever after!

^{This is inspired by a true event but I wrote this almost a decade ago. Which character do you relate to the most – elder sister or younger sister? Do share your thoughts or funny ghost phobia stories in the comment section.}